Our brains do a funny thing. Every day when I hear the news of a terrible tragedy my heart breaks into a few more pieces. Another child murdered. Another parent murdered. Another grandparent, brother, sister, teacher, friend, murdered. And beyond terror, another tragic baby death in car seat, swing, daycare.

It’s 4:30 am. I woke up because I had an awful dream regarding a terror attack. The saddest part of my dream is that my dream is the reality of so many. Today my news feed was filled with sentiments of “enough is enough.” Our hearts can’t take it anymore.

But our brains do a funny thing. Somehow, (and thank G-D) they don’t let us live paralyzed in heart break and fear. Somehow, the insignificant events of our day actually lead us through emotions that run from moments of total heart is overflowing with love and happiness to being so frustrated and upset over trivial matters.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. If I was, my Facebook/Instagram feed would look very different. There isn’t a day that goes by where there isn’t multiple tragedies in the news. Regardless of gender, race and religion, most humans when reading about a grandparent, parent or child murdered in cold blood, in those moments it feels like “how can ANYTHING else matter?” There’s a feeling of needing to go to all your loved ones and hugging them and letting them know how much they mean to you.

And then your brain does a funny thing. Something your parent/spouse/child/friend does bothers/upsets you and you have a frustrated emotion that represents a regular human being, not one that is paralyzed with heartbreak and fear.

You read about threats to your hometown or to your religion and maybe you start thinking about going to crowded places. Or another tragic school shooting. Or that string of movie theater attacks. You start wondering is anywhere safe….

And then your brain does a funny thing. You get wrapped up in your life and you go places and you enjoy the moment. You socialize and have fun. You live.

In the same day my feed can be filled with a heartbreaking funeral for an 18 year old boy killed on his way to do an act of a good deed, bloody pictures of another stabbing, and children smiling, funny quotes, and love.

I wasn’t going to reference babies, but it’s 5 am and I have my video monitor next to me so I will quickly.

When babies are small, there is a sense of fear. I think everyone experiences it to different degrees – when you have a baby and your heart hurts from how much you love them, there is a paralyzing fear to protect them. It doesn’t help that articles are circulated with many tragic stories about babies. I understand it’s to raise awareness, but sometimes I feel the article leads many to be terrified. It’s already hard to feel relaxed when there is this little tiny baby 100% reliant on you, and then with the tragic stories circulated it’s hard not to be fixated on the fears.

My philosophy is to get educated. If something you read scares you, read up on where the real danger lies. Get educated and feel empowered. Do everything you can to put your baby in a safe environment (although there are so many mixed messages so that is hard too). As with everything I post, easier said then done.

I often remind myself:

If a tragedy (any tragedy) hits two people on opposite sides of the spectrum: One a constant worrier and one totally care-free. Does the one who worried have an advantage? Personally, I don’t believe so. Perhaps they just feel validated for feeling worried, but the time spent worrying didn’t change the reality of the tragedy. And they definitely weren’t looking for that validation.

I very much believe G-d makes these decisions and we can’t begin to understand the bigger picture. While I know that worrying doesn’t change the outcomes of life, I’m not saying I fall in the totally care-free category. My brain does a funny thing, it never lets me get totally care-free because while it also allows us to momentarily block out awful current events it also shows up to remind us to be worried. And woke me up at 4:30 am.

Back to sleep…