I’ve been out 20 of the past 22 nights. That’s 20 nights that instead of getting into my pajamas at 8 pm, I was dressed and out. Thank g-d all of the 20 nights were for good things (some meetings, some dinners, one awesome Raptors game, a birthday party, book club, and a week with Israeli soldiers including an all nighter until 5 am)
What this month reminded me of is something I’ve come to terms with and often think about – The thing is, something’s got to give. I never fully believed that anyone “can have it all.” When things are busy, be it a busy time at work or a busy personal time, something gives. I haven’t found someone who can have a full time job, and show up to everything for their kids, and be a supportive and good friend, and take the kind of personal care of themselves that they want.
I’m not even referring to a Pinterest play date, organic gourmet meal parenting, I’m saying even good ol’ basic parenting, it still requires TIME. The time varies from newborn physical needing 24/7 to a different type of need. Kids need their parents. Their physical presence.
We’re not in the best place currently. Too much sibling fighting, too much acting out. I have to admit, I see the correlation between our physical absence and our family rut. Even if we were home for bed time a lot of these nights, they were still rushed because we knew we had somewhere to be. My kids for sure have felt that we’ve been out every night.
I don’t regret the choices we made to say yes to everything this past month, but I am in need of some calm time. We’re definitely in need of a family meeting, and some good quality family time.
If you find yourself thinking “how do they do it all?” remind yourself that it’s not an attainable goal. There is no “correct” path to choose. For one person it will be to take the promotion and for another it will be to move to part time. Every person will have a different balance that works for them, but no one will have it ALL. In every scenario, something gives – be it temporarily, or permanently, and that’s OK.
If they’re acting up, do a check in with yourself if it’s possibly a cry out for some good quality time with you. You might think as they get older they need you less, but sometimes that’s when they need you more.
Stay open and honest with your kids. When you feel that they’re getting the short end of the stick, be open about that and plan something they can look forward to – whether that’s an ice cream date or a family trip.
Also YOLO – so stay out once a year until 5 am when you’re over 30, it’s a good reminder why you usually go to sleep early on a Saturday night 😂